Hello 16 year-old Nicky,

Yes, it's Nicky now, get used to the 'y'.

Ah, 16 years old. Days of studying hard for your GCSEs, revising and concentrating on your future are your priority at this point, right?

WRONG!

Despite how important GCSEs are to your future you don't put much effort in preparing for them. You spend English and Science lessons dossing about with 'A' (but this does has its advantages, as 3 years on you are still really close mates and even spend a wonderful weekend together with him.) and Maths? Just grin and bear it mate, I know how much the bullying gets you down but remember this my little self: you are a better person than that. Just rise above it and hold your head high. That's easier said than done I know, but it'll pay off.

You probably realize this already given as you've already done this for a year, but taking Health and Social Care for GCSE? Big mistake. Yes, you and 'T' have a ball in there being the only guys in the class and spending your time helping each other out with work. Miss H also becomes a very fondly remembered Teacher for being absolutely brilliant.
Likewise for Mrs S, your classroom support. You'll be pleased to know that she'll later become your Careers Adviser in a bizarre coincidence and will be a great help. Of course this doesn't stop even more bullying in that lesson but as you predicted, most of the girls in that class end up pregnant and poor by the end of the year. Making you slightly better than them, as smug as it sounds, that's Karma for you, yes you believe in Karma now.

To cut a long portion of this letter short, despite initial expectations you actually do well enough in your exams to get into College. But you are forced onto the wrong course which is Applied Science. Despite doing very well in and earning your 1st Diploma you will realize this isn't your calling and you'll drop out for a year before changing your course to Media Production much to Mum +P.J.'s chagrin.

You'll spend this year working (mostly doing volunteer stuff.) and a big moment will happen: You will see your real Dad for the 1st time in over a decade. You'll be initially angry at this news I know and you'll hurt a lot of people, but you'll give him a chance and you grow close over a matter of months. But not too close, don't get too close cause he doesn't really deserve that yet. You'll spend a summer and a Christmas working for him aswell. You'll also rekindle your relationship with his parents to whom you remain close. You'll help Grandma out a lot when Granddad passes on in October 2012. You'll also grow closer to Mum's parents, and you'll visit them often, making regular visits to Castlecroft which despite having some terrible memories of the small Wolverhampton suburb, feels nostalgic all the same. Later on though, you'll lose a little bit of respect for Granddad when you realize how bitter he is sometimes. You'll also witness the very sad loss of their Dog, Jake who'll die at the ripe old age of 14 in 2011.

After that, you'll begin a Diploma in Media Production which'll give you one of the best years of your life education wise, and it'll let you show your creative side. You'll show little pride in your work however and at one point destroy the master footage of every project you make to that point in self-deprecating rage, because you feel that nothing you can do will be worthy of any merit. You still feel that way now, and the anger'll get much worse to the point of trashing every photo of yourself that's ever been taken in the family photo albums and smashing up your school photographs one weekend. As you may have gathered our self confidence is lower than a donkey's dick fucking a mole but it'll go up slowly.

I'll leave you now, just take care and THINK!

Regards,

Older Nicky.